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COLOSSIANS - Christ in you, the hope of glory!
Studies in the Letter of Paul to the Colossians
Part 4 - The New Life and Daily Living (Colossians 3:18 - 4:1)
21. Children and Parents in the Upheaval of our Time (Colossians 3:20-21)
Colossians 3:20-21
20 Children, obey your parents in all things, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, don’t provoke your children, so that they won’t be discouraged.
A proclaimer of the gospel wrote: “God has no grandchildren, only children!” In the event parents become believers in Christ, there is still by far no guarantee that their children will also come to believe in Jesus. Certainly the blessings of the parents and the grandparents will affect the children. Where a personal decision for Jesus does not ensue in each individual child, however, it often happens that the hereditary factors the parents pass on, both good and bad, come to play a far greater role than hoped for. Therefore, the upbringing of children demands of us much patience, prayer, love and mercy.
In our day and age, even children in kindergarten are being raised to be self-dependent. Some teaching-plans have the intentional goal to free them from a spirit of submission to all authority, as if they would no longer be responsible toward God and man. Undesirable environmental influences leave their imprint on children more than we are aware of. Television fills their subconscious mind with ridiculous pictures and unclean spirits, so that the rebellious spirit in them can take root. Once again, this calls forth in us patience, prayer, love and mercy!
The example of the parents impresses itself upon children more strongly than any theory or experience. When parents love one another and communicate in wisdom before their children, role-models are established that will positively influence the children´s future. However, where argument and unkind words are carried out before the eyes and ears of children, their young souls are wounded. Jesus said: “But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes!” (Matt. 18:6-7).
When children begin to enter into their development years and their sexual capacity awakens, they begin to isolate themselves, become independent, and begin searching for their own I . In the event they are incorporated into a Biblically grounded youth group, this can help their development. Yet when in a schoolroom the sexual practices of adults, including a talk of the woman´s orgasm and an explanation of sexual contraceptives for both girls and boys are presented, it can lead to individual shock and a seduction into premature contact. Parents should carefully take a look at the relevant school books of their children before the instruction begins in order to prepare their children for the inevitable.
The obedience of children is conditioned upon the love and clarity of parents. In the event that a child or a teenager lies, steals or practices some other wrong, a friendly talk with admonition needs to ensue, followed by punishment, even when modern laws increasingly prohibit the punishment of children. In his subconscious a child knows that a wrong needs to be punished. This punishment, however, must not be carried out in excessive anger.
In the event a child or a young person comes to know, love and believe in Jesus, even though his parents do not belong to the followers of Christ and forbid him the new faith, the child or youth will have to obey God more than man. As long as he is under age, he will have to learn to stay quiet, while still praying for and serving his parents. It is important that they see and feel his love, truth and purity. In case it is possible, an under aged daughter should not allow herself to be forcibly married, but continue to ask Jesus for His protection and leading. These young believers under attack need, in very special measure, our intercession and accompaniment. In the love of Jesus, they love their parents even more than before, yet must endure harshness, hatred and wrath for it. That goes beyond their ability and requires a praying church to accompany them.
The relationship between father and mother very much influences, trains and comforts children in their developmental years. In the event, however, that parents fights, hate and increasingly distance themselves from one another until it comes to a divorce, the result will be a painful breach in the development of their children. In some instances, it can lead to life-long inner stress and anxiety. Today, more than a third of young married couples have their marriage end in divorce. In certain countries it even goes so far that one of the parties adopts another religion, when his church does not allow a divorce. Ultimately, a divorce is the bitter fruit of inadequate faith, the lack of self-denial, and an unbiblical choice of marriage partner.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, we thank you for entrusting children to many of your son's disciples in their marriages. Forgive them if they do not understand the needs of their children in this modern, Godless age and make difficult demands on them. Help parents and children to truly love each other and live under the guidance of the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Also give God-fearing teachers in schools and youth groups. Amen.
Question 48: How should children and youth live in modern times if they know and love Jesus?